I have finally made it to Ruai and was very happy to see the children. They were very happy to see me too and straight away I was surrounded by so many of them - everyone wanted to hold my hand or get a hug. They kept touching my hair and then started braiding it - it was quite a painful process and I lost a lot of hair as a result when I tried to bring it back to normal. But still, it was fun spending time with the kids after such long time.
I spent the rest of the evening talking with Stanley, the manager of MCCH about various things that I want to work on whilst I am here. I didnt even realise when it got really late, we were so absorbed in the conversation. As he needed to get up by 5am we decided to continue our discussion the following day.
I was in bed around 12.30am, I am staying at the guest house where Stanley, Hilda and few of the children are also staying. Ruai is very rual and there are not so many houses around. It is usually very quite except for the airplane noise...
I fixed my mosquito net, locked the door to my room and turned off the lights. Just this in itself was pretty scary for me as I just hate to be alone in the room at night, I think it is some sort of a fobia... I was lying down and listening to the noises outside. All seemed OK... I must have drifted off for less than an hour when I suddenly woke up. I did not know why I woke up but again got really worried about all theh darkness. Just as I was hoping to go back to sleep I heard the noise made by the front gate... Alarmed I started to listen out for more sounds and to my terror what I heard next was the gate to the back of the house. I was completely paniced by then but unsure of what I should do. I was lying in bed, terrified. I could hear someone walking around the house and outside my window. All of a sudden I felt very claustrophobic - it was the mosquito net, the room everything, I was finding it hard to breathe... There are bars in all of the windows so nobody can come in through that but still I found no comfort in that... And then I heard someone trying to open the back door... I really wanted to scream but was too afraid to... Luckily they did not manage to get in and et again I heard someone walk around the house... It was too much to take. The moment I knew that they must have been on the other side of the house I jumepd out of my bed, put the lights on, got out of the room, turn on the dining room lights on and run to Hilda's room to wake her up. However, when I enetred her room I couldnt find the light switch and I could not see which bed she was sleeping in. Instead I just saw the children sleeping there and I really did not want to scare them. Everyone in the house was fast asleep. I decided to wait it out. Too afraid to go back to my room (as it was just opposite the back door), I stayed in the hallway for over an hour trying to decide whether I should wake anyone up or not. Finally around 4am when I did not hear anything else I managed to go back to bed but I left the lights on and could not sleep. I could hear many dogs barking in the distance... I was still scared.
Finally just before 5 am, when I knew that many people will be getting up I was brave enough to close my eyes and finally fell asleep.
As a result I am really really tired today and even more terrified about spending 3 more nights here this week... Maybe the tiredness will help me sleep through the night... I have many weeks to go and I dont want it getting in my way of achieving what I set out for myself.
I spoke to Stanley and Hilda about what happened. We will put on some security lights outside and try to close the gate better. I also want to get a dog, I really believe that we need to make this place more secure. It is not easy though when the funds are so limited and everything costs...
On the happier note - seems like the cold season is finally over - we have had 3 great sunny days now and it is very hot here today.
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